The Southside Cavaliers Grow Up a Little
by Ken Floro III
Every group of friends can laugh about the stupid things they’ve done together. Unfortunately, to enjoy most such stories you ‘had to be there’, or you ‘have to know so-and-so’. Well, have no fear, because these stories were written specifically to take you there and introduce you to so-and-so. That way you can share our misadventures.
My friends and I are the Southside Cavaliers – a crew of misfits and trouble-makers lucky enough to have fallen into each other’s company. In the decades we’ve been kicking around this dusty planet together, we’ve instigated more than a few memorable shenanigans, like attempting to set off a ‘harmless’ little homemade bomb during French class, sharing a light-hearted stabbing, hunting for a legendary long-lost classmate, getting cosmically busted for academic fraud, serving up tainted baked goods, and investigating the mystery of a decades-old defecation. Share a laugh at our expense with this collection of embarrassingly true stories.
The very next thing Rich knew, a fire-eyed titan had seized him by the throat, lifted him off the ground, and slammed him into a row of lockers. Terrified, Rich’s friend vanished in a flurry of Keds. This left Andy alone in the hall, clutching the unfortunate ass-wipe who’d just insulted Paula’s honor.
Since he’d been picked on a lot in grade school, Andy had taken up the habit of working out every day with a pair of hand-grip exercisers. By his freshman year he was already doing a hundred reps with each hand, and by his senior year he had the grip-strength of a pneumatic vice. He’d snatched Rich with his left hand, since his right was in a splint, and he held the squirming blackguard at arm’s length.
As a giant, Andy’s arm stretched considerably longer than Rich’s. This meant that every punch Rich tried to throw didn’t even graze Andy’s chin. Soon Rich started running out of air. In desperation he tried using his fingernails to claw at Andy’s arm. Andy didn’t even flinch. He just kept choking Rich.
While he struggled, Rich’s face turned bright red. Then it turned purple. Eventually his eyes started to roll back in his head. That’s when Andy finally leaned in, nose-to-nose, and said, “Don’t you ever talk to me again!” After that, Andy released his victim. Rich collapsed on his hands and knees gasping for air.
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Ken was born and raised in the Southside of Saint Louis. After earning a degree in World Literature, followed by a degree in Culinary Arts, Ken soon made the obvious career move and went to work in medicine, because a little taste of reality can suddenly turn a healthy paycheck, normal working hours, and long-term job security into sumptuous delicacies. Despite the change in his employment trajectory, Ken never turned away from his dream of writing. He’d nurtured a lifelong creative ambition, which had gained direction when a funny true story he wrote for a high school English class became so popular with his classmates they traded copies of it in the hall and passed them up and down the bus. Ever since that catalytic moment, Ken has been writing as a hobby and a passion. Thus far, he’s published eight books, along with several other tidbits, all of which are available on his website, southsidecavaliers.com.
My website: http://southsidecavaliers.com/
The book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Southside-Cavaliers-Grow-Little/dp/0989283925/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1378901288&sr=8-1&keywords=the+southside+cavaliers+grow+up+a+little
And Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/335639
My Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Floro-III/e/B00D6J3UMW/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
My Goodreads Author Page: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5829278.Ken_Floro_III
My Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/kenfloroauthor
My Twitter Handle: @SouthsideKen
Ken will be awarding a $25 Starbucks GC to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour.
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